Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Me too Woody, me too...

"In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!" 
 Woody Allen

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Monday, March 7, 2011

Greek

So my 19th birthday has come and gone, fairly uneventfully. My first college spring break is in full swing and I am at home doing nothing. I procrastinate summer job apps because doing them means the real world is coming. And that's just scary. I am halfway through the second semester of my freshman year of college and I have not seemed to do anything of significance. I have not partied, have not had a boyfriend or even a hook up, and my grades certainly have not stood up to the level of high school. Not that I am doing bad or anything. I have friends, I am part of student organizations. I am moving forward. But I moving to fast and I just want to slow down.

I just finished watching the series finally of Greek on ABC Family. It made me sad. And not just because of the terrible ending or complete out of the blue cancellation. But because I have been watching that show since the beginning and I guess it sort of set some expectations in my head. Expectations of what college would be like in addition to my own expectation that it would be different and better than high school. But so far, my college experience has been just like high school just with less stupid insecurities about my hair. I haven't done anything different. I am still an honors student, in a student council, not partying and doing nothing but watching movies on the weekends with friends. And there is nothing wrong with that. It's just not different. It's the same.

Greek of course like any TV show is a complete exaggeration since you only see anyone actually go to class or study like twice in the entire series, but still, the point is there. That college should be trying something different and fun. And I am trying but opportunity doesn't seem to be presenting itself at all. Opportunities, great ones, have come my way by they are school, and honor society, and future related. As great as those are I feel like I am missing out. Like the world it purposely only giving me these opportunities to force me into the future and adulthood to soon. Maybe it is. Maybe that's it. The adults running this world are making the consequences of the little things we are expected to be doing harsher to scare us away, they are putting more pressure on us finishing school and doing research and getting jobs and ultimately robbing us of our years because they need us to fix their screw ups. The adults in the world screwed up the national debt, the politics, the diseases they spread with out cures, and they expect us to figure it all out because we are the next generation and we have grown up with technology, we will have or be able to have all of the answers. So they rush us. And I feel rushed. And not the Greek rushed. Not the rush that will lead me to a thousand great memories and happy times. But rushed into the real world. I, and every other college student and most high school students are in the process of being robbed and there is nothing we can do about it.  Is there?

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Therapy

I have decided to let the bad feelings go. You should too.