I Can Do This.

Cinque Terre, Italy

Hey guys, I'm going to go here.

In May.

So like in 12 weeks.

Yep.

I got accepted to the study abroad program. My dream come true. What I have been working for for two years now. I got accepted.



Now I just need $10,000 to do it. Except there's this problem. I don't have it and have no way to get it other than a loan. I have tried the parent route (they still seem to think I'm joking. Seriously.). I've tried the scholarship route and they must think I must be some strange anomaly because I fit into zero criteria. And the financial aid people must think I am joking too, because apparently my parents make enough to put food on the table so why the hell would I need "aid"? Right.

It doesn't help that my parents have all but completely cut me off and I have around $150 in my bank account right now. And that I have never had to deal with real money before and have no clue what I am doing, and can't pay for even a dinner out with friends but I am expected to go out anyway. Do you know how humiliating it is to have to tell your friends they have to find something free to do and you are broke? To have to sell plasma for basic spending money? Ugh, I hate this constant stress and tension in my mind and body over money. Something so stupid.

School is rough right now too. I feel like I have no time. Every day has something scheduled. But I can handle that. I can handle school stress. I've been handling that for years. I'll get through it. But money stress? That's new territory for me. I will just have to take the same strategy for school stress and apply it here. Don't think too hard about it.

Deep breaths. Focus. Go.

Okay, I will get a private loan. Supplemental FinAid apps are out in March. I will do that. Forget about scholarships and parents. I have approximately $2,000 saved, I am a quarter there. I will get a $9,000 private loan to cover what FinAid won't. This leaves me plenty. I will return from Italy and take extra summer classes here and get a job. Then another school year will begin.

Plan. Go. Nothing else matters or will interfere. Just do it. Stick to the plan, worry about paying off loans later. And most of all remember: You are NOT alone.


(P.S. but if you all would like to make donations, by all means go ahead. kay? thanks bye.

Why I'm Sorry For Us

Recently, a video went viral on the internet showing US marines literally peeing on the dead bodies of the Taliban. Many people see nothing wrong with this. They are just the Taliban, they say. Many people have been defending these soldiers, saying that they themselves would do it too. The Taliban would do much worse to us and wants to.

To those defenders: your reasons and defenses are exactly why these soldiers should NOT be doing this. 

Because YOU ARE NOT THE TALIBAN. You are an American soldier. You are supposed to have integrity, dignity, respect, understanding, and pride in you. And a person that would and did commit the act of pissing on a dead human being has none of that.

If you are one of these people or soldiers, do not wonder why most of the world thinks Americans are rude, ignorant, and arrogant. You just proved to them that you are.

You deserve nothing less than a dishonorable discharge and severe punishment.

A dead human being is a dead human being. A dead human being is not your enemy. He is a fallen brother.

We are not born with enemies. Or religion. Or hate. We are raised that way. We are innocent souls corrupted by outside forces. A baby knows nothing but wonder and love until they are taught otherwise.

A baby born into a family in the Taliban is brainwashed. They are shown hate, are raised with fathers that oppress their mothers and rant and rave in anger and resentment over another culture that probably has never even really touch their lives but is heard about by their fathers before them .

The only reason we are not like this ourselves is because we are told so. We are told we live in country that allows you to learn and explore and understand. We are brainwashed as well. Just to believe different things. 

For this your body should not be maliciousness ruined.

I believe that when a human being dies, our souls are released to a kind of heaven. A place where our souls can be free. Free of judgment, hate, anger, and grief. Free from our corrupted minds and bodies. When your soul is free, you don’t see or have enemies anymore. Your actions, your body, and your brain release you- as your most pure and innocent self. For those who follow a religion – this is God’s forgiveness.

body should be laid to rest respectively and to the wishes that the soul would want. It’s the very least we can do. Because it is time to forgive the body too.

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Yes, the Taliban committed horrible crimes against us, and try to today. It is only through education and freedom from religion that we can ALL learn and understand each other.

Yes, the Taliban don’t like me, and would probably kill me for the life I lead, but I still mourn for those dead bodies and their souls. And I am sorry that a soldier supposedly defending me committed such a crime against them. 

Wishing Away...

None of these are expensive at all! (besides the Chanel, but that's special...)
p.s. I LOVE Polyvore!

My Holiday Wishlist 2011 by drw1100 featuring glitter pumps

Charlotte russe dress
$29 - charlotterusse.com

Charlotte russe
$40 - charlotterusse.com

Charlotte russe shoes
$43 - charlotterusse.com

Glitter pumps
$25 - urbanog.com

Chanel black bag
fashion.1stdibs.com

TOMS Shoes Silver Holiday Classic Women 6
$54 - toms.com

Charlotte Russe - Starry Eyed Charmeuse Dress
$29 - charlotterusse.com

HIRE ME

valium sandwiches: stress   (clipped to polyvore.com)
Dear all past and future employers,

Please HIRE ME. I am a hard working college student trying to keep up with the social demands of life and save money for they student demands of life. My dreams are large and I will do anything it takes to get them to come true. I am a good person. I am smart. I have proved this time and time again. I just want to make money. Please. I am so tired of this stress of worrying. Help me. If you don't want to help me for those reasons than just give me a chance and help me help you so I can help me. Please.

Sincerely,
Danielle

Elegant WordArt 2: What Is Life?   (clipped to polyvore.com)

Just a reminder...