I Can Do This.

Cinque Terre, Italy

Hey guys, I'm going to go here.

In May.

So like in 12 weeks.

Yep.

I got accepted to the study abroad program. My dream come true. What I have been working for for two years now. I got accepted.



Now I just need $10,000 to do it. Except there's this problem. I don't have it and have no way to get it other than a loan. I have tried the parent route (they still seem to think I'm joking. Seriously.). I've tried the scholarship route and they must think I must be some strange anomaly because I fit into zero criteria. And the financial aid people must think I am joking too, because apparently my parents make enough to put food on the table so why the hell would I need "aid"? Right.

It doesn't help that my parents have all but completely cut me off and I have around $150 in my bank account right now. And that I have never had to deal with real money before and have no clue what I am doing, and can't pay for even a dinner out with friends but I am expected to go out anyway. Do you know how humiliating it is to have to tell your friends they have to find something free to do and you are broke? To have to sell plasma for basic spending money? Ugh, I hate this constant stress and tension in my mind and body over money. Something so stupid.

School is rough right now too. I feel like I have no time. Every day has something scheduled. But I can handle that. I can handle school stress. I've been handling that for years. I'll get through it. But money stress? That's new territory for me. I will just have to take the same strategy for school stress and apply it here. Don't think too hard about it.

Deep breaths. Focus. Go.

Okay, I will get a private loan. Supplemental FinAid apps are out in March. I will do that. Forget about scholarships and parents. I have approximately $2,000 saved, I am a quarter there. I will get a $9,000 private loan to cover what FinAid won't. This leaves me plenty. I will return from Italy and take extra summer classes here and get a job. Then another school year will begin.

Plan. Go. Nothing else matters or will interfere. Just do it. Stick to the plan, worry about paying off loans later. And most of all remember: You are NOT alone.


(P.S. but if you all would like to make donations, by all means go ahead. kay? thanks bye.

Wishing Away...

None of these are expensive at all! (besides the Chanel, but that's special...)
p.s. I LOVE Polyvore!

My Holiday Wishlist 2011 by drw1100 featuring glitter pumps

Charlotte russe dress
$29 - charlotterusse.com

Charlotte russe
$40 - charlotterusse.com

Charlotte russe shoes
$43 - charlotterusse.com

Glitter pumps
$25 - urbanog.com

Chanel black bag
fashion.1stdibs.com

TOMS Shoes Silver Holiday Classic Women 6
$54 - toms.com

Charlotte Russe - Starry Eyed Charmeuse Dress
$29 - charlotterusse.com

HIRE ME

valium sandwiches: stress   (clipped to polyvore.com)
Dear all past and future employers,

Please HIRE ME. I am a hard working college student trying to keep up with the social demands of life and save money for they student demands of life. My dreams are large and I will do anything it takes to get them to come true. I am a good person. I am smart. I have proved this time and time again. I just want to make money. Please. I am so tired of this stress of worrying. Help me. If you don't want to help me for those reasons than just give me a chance and help me help you so I can help me. Please.

Sincerely,
Danielle

Elegant WordArt 2: What Is Life?   (clipped to polyvore.com)

Summer Epilogue: One month later

Grand Valley: I'm baaaaaaaack. Thank goodness. I was going to say the only thing I missed about that island was him, but as I typed it, I realized it was not true. There are a lot of things I miss and a lot of things I don't. Yet, he is the biggest factor. I wish I could stop thinking about it, but I can't. It's getting easier everyday. He did not break my heart, but he could have been a little more gentle. And I could have been a little more honest.

I am a different person now than I was last year. It is so obvious even to myself. I don't know how one person could change that much. Multiple things happened on that island that changed my life forever, in little ways and big ones. But I see the person I am now and I like her so much more. She's confident, outspoken, more culturally aware, brave, questioning, intelligent, mature, informed. She's ten thousand steps closer to being the person I have been imagining myself as that I thought I would never be.

thanks again, stumbleupon for bringing me this:

Oh yea, that's why I did it...

Today's discussion board question for HTM 290-02:

What would you say influenced your decision the most when selecting this internship? Was it the fact that it was paid or unpaid? Was it down to the location? Was it the opportunity itself? Was it the result of positive networking, or do you feel that you took the position simply to fulfill the class requirements?

Yes, I definitely needed to be asked that.

My answer:

I knew I wanted to work on Mackinac Island this summer even before I had decided on my major, or knew I had to do an internship. It was finding the job here, and my desire to work here, that led me to finding the HTM program and deciding that this area was right for me. I had been coming to the island for vacation many times over the years and decided that it would be so cool to work here, live here, and own a hotel here. My aunt actually worked for the Grand Hotel for a couple of years as a night auditor so she helped me get in here. I had applied for almost every hotel on the island months before I was getting ready for an internship. I chose the G**** Hotel because of the fact that it is the G**** Hotel. It is considered the best hotel, it is very up scale, it is the world's largest summer resort and has been named in many lists as one of the best hotels and resorts in the world. So what better name to have on my resume than the G****'s? Even though I am just a hostess at one of their multiple restaurants, I am learning so much just by being here, interacting with the other hotel employees and managers, meeting the owners, and living and experiencing life on an island that is a resort in and of itself. It's been hard, but I am sure I made the right choice.


What I didn't add: 


I now want to flip my HTM major and Business minor to an HTM minor and Business major. Just because I hate how this internship locked me into a job I want to get out of. But that is only part of the reason.

I have never believed in Fate more than now, because of how I found this job, this major, and how it all worked out. 


*I took out part of the name of the hotel to keep things private, though I am sure most people can figure it out. I cannot name the hotel. 

StumbleUpon always knows what to say to me....

Speaking of StumbleUpon, shameless plug here: Click the StumbleUpon logo below to like this and share it with the world. Thanks :)

End of the Year Thoughts

I have 6 school days left before the end of my freshman year of college. 6 days. This year has gone by way to fast and in less than 2 weeks I will be on the island all summer, missing my friends, making new ones. I will be working, playing and hopefully have a much more eventful summer than school year. I have done a lot of things and grabbed a lot of opportunities in college that I normally never would have, but I still feel I missed a lot.

I have much to look forward to, and I plan on making the best of it. I will go to Italy to study abroad next summer. I will save half of all of my internship earnings each year and then go backpacking after graduation. I will because I can and I am young. I won't ask my mother for permission, but rather for support because I am an adult (a little lesson I learned from Gossip Girl last night). I can do it. I want to so I will. I just have to make it happen for myself rather than get it handed to me like I normally do. This is something that I have learned this year. That I can do it if I want. I can be independent. And I can not wait for my backpacking trip. :)

Nightmare!!

Okay, so I had this scary/odd/weird dream lastnight.

I was fast asleep and all of a sudden I was at my graduation cermony. Except our robes were black instead of red. I found this odd, and was asking friends why, but no one answered/payed attention to me. Suddenly the ceremony was starting, and all of my fellow graduates were sitting in place while I was off sitting in a seperate section off to the side, with all the loser pot heads who didn't have robes on. I asked the girl next to me why we were here, and she said we weren't graduating. And I was like WHAT?!?! Then the school counslor was announcing the names, and she didn't say mine. So I went up to her and asked her what was going on, she forgot me. So she was like "oh, and maybe Danielle Weaver" and I was really confused. Then the ceremony was over and all my friends were gone and all the decorations/set up was down and I was alone. Then my mom came up to me and we had to leave, and I asked where the family was and why they weren't here and she said they all were running late or couldn't make it. I was all confused and sad and was going to cry and then I woke up for school. 

The End.

Anyone out there care to analyze this for me? I would like to point out that it is only February 23 and graduation is not till June 4th. WTF is up with the jacked up dream???